Me: Hi, my name is Beth and I lost my pants.

Group: Hi Beth!

Me: I last saw my pants on Tuesday when I wore them to a doctor’s appointment.  I came home, changed into comfy clothes and they have been missing ever since.

And that’s how people will introduce themselves in my new group: Missing Pants Anonymous or MPA.  I’m still working on details for the first meeting and recruiting other members.

I routinely misplace my jeans.  I have one pair of good jeans and one pair of older kind-of-ratty-but-I-can-make-them-work jeans.  I don’t actually go out much, therefore these two pairs of jeans are enough.  Until I lose my good pair.

And the really disturbing part of losing them this time is that they have yet to turn up.  Usually they show themselves when I get back in my older pair and go to change into my comfy clothes again.  They show up where I had looked about a dozen times before–either on the bed or the ironing board.

I’ve come to the conclusion the black hole that sucks in socks, hair clips, combs, and brushes has now taken my pants. Usually the outlet of the black hole is under the girls’ bed, but I have not had luck looking there yet.  If the black hole didn’t suck them in, then gnomes took them and cut them up to make new gnome clothes.  I hope they look good in denim!

ETA: I found them!  In a laundry basket, if you can imagine that.  The black hole spit them out.  No cut marks, so no gnomes this time.