Start writing, no matter about what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. You can sit and look at a page for a long time and nothing will happen. Start writing and it will.  

–Louis L’Amour in Education of a Wandering Man

I’ve been rather tentative about writing again. I am feeling very enthusiastic about this new venture (freelancing), even if it starts out slowly. All the same, there is anxiety.  What if no one is willing to read my work? What if I can’t get a paying job? What if I can’t find something to write about? What if I completely fail? What if I can’t find time to write because I have a child at home? What if? What if?
So the questions go. Then, as I was reading Education of a Wandering Man by Louis L’Amour, I found the above quote. And something clicked. I did not start immediately. I still gave in to the fears and general anxiety. I found anything I could to not start again. Instead of writing, I cleaned off my desk (who can write at a cluttered desk?) and found music to play in the background (everyone needs working music, right?). And even yet, I kept coming back to the quote. I read it and reread it and pondered it.

Finally, I talked over this new idea with Matt, who is incredibly supportive and yet not afraid to tell me when I’m about to do something stupid. He was for it. And so, no other obstacles in my way, with my clean desk and music playing, I have a pencil in hand and a notebook in front of me. I’m writing.  And I’m calm now that I’ve begun. I know that even if this new direction isn’t right for me, at least I will have tried.